the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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