We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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