i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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