why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
