I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
