I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
