Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
