The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
