I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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