So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
