Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
