Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
