do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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