STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
