I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
