Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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