Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
