'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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