Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
