It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Randomize
