Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
