i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
