FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
