let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
