I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
