About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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