It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
