At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize