i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude i'm inner monologue high
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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