you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize