See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
