We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
