return my video game
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
