i permit you to call me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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