well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
