he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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