I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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