It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
