My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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