But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I checked into jail on foursquare
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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