mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
