Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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