She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
