pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You have to summon your inner elephant
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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