Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
