Sponge bath it is.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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