i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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