so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
