butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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