hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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