first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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