i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just gift wrapped bread.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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