my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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