He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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