We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
