I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
