So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
