Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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