I must be too annoying 4 u.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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