Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
