I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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