Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
