He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
