Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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